I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i now understand why vodka
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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