Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
