ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize