So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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