the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
