I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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