Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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