Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
