its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
