just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I had to cum in my sink.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
