When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it because I queefed?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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