when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
