i just google imaged poop.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
