you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
