What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
