I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
