I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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