I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
