dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i would punch a child for taco bell
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
