we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
