Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
