dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can I color on your dick again?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am one with the molecules
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
