Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
