I cockslap morals
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
