U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
