my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
