i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
