All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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