It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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