News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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