did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
