Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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