is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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