This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
