You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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