Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
