Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
