is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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