I got chris browned last night
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
