why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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