but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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