So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
