Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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