i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
