pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
