well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
