I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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