It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
