is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
