So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize