you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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