I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
