it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
