Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
