im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
